The Tragic Optimist


I am not good at telling people I’m pregnant (see what I did there?  A bad job of letting you know I’m pregnant).  It’s not that I’m not happy – I’m thrilled.  Or even that I’m in denial or shock – though I admit, I was pretty surprised by this particular development.  I just find it surprisingly hard to say those words out loud.  To someone else.  There’s rarely an easy opening in the conversation, and I find myself tripping and stumbling my way through saying it.  I also feel completely graceless and awkward when it comes to dealing with the congratulations, and well-wishes and questions.  I think the biggest stumbling block is remembering all the pregnancy announcements I’ve heard, and while I’ve been genuinely happy for everyone involved, there were times when I’d just have to plaster a fake smile on because of the sting.  And I worry about who might be pasting their smile on and inwardly stinging, and I hate that I might be the source of the sting.

But I want to be open about this and I want people to know, so I don’t really have any choice but to put on my big girl pants and do it.   I wanted to post earlier on the blog (I’ve known for 3 weeks now), but given that my blog is read by a lot of people who know me in real life, we felt like we needed to make sure things were announced in a somewhat proper order.  I think I am going to post this to facebook (hi to anyone from there), if only because then I only need to write this once.  And I do know that it’s still very early, and there is a chance that the pregnancy won’t lead to a baby, but again, I want to be open, and if something were to happen, I want to be able to lean on friends for support.

The one person we haven’t needed to tell is Zoe.  As I mentioned a while back, she recently started talking about having a baby sister, as if it was inevitable (I do love the faith of a 3 year old).  The night before I tested, she told me she wanted a blanket for the baby she was getting on her birthday.  I asked if that meant that she wanted a new baby doll for her birthday, and she looked at me as if I was stupid and said, “no, the real baby I’m getting on my birthday.”  I’m due two days after her birthday.

If you are someone that feels a sting from this – for whatever reason – I sympathize, so much.  And I’m sorry.  I wish I knew the perfect way of announcing with no sting.



  1. That’s wonderful, Ann! I’m over the moon for you guys.

  2. Congratulations, Ann! I am so excited for you! Zoe is quite the fortune teller.

  3. Emily

    Congradulations, Ann! That is very exciting!

    This post raises the question in my mind of whether you are sure that Zoe didn’t overhear you talking about her potential sister’s due date?

    • Actually, I think it’s because she has a friend at daycare who just had a baby brother right around her (the friend’s) birthday. Chris and I hadn’t talked about due dates at all before that.

  4. Congratulations! Zoe’s prediction is uncanny. If everything goes as planned, you’ll be instantly thrilled by what a good big sister she will be.

  5. Congratulations!

  6. Aww! Congratulations! I hope everything goes well!

  7. Well, that is GREAT news and makes me even more sorry to see your family moving away! 😦

  8. Jessica

    Yay!!!! That’s wonderful, Ann! And Zoe’s comment (and your telling of it) is truly hilarious.

    Now I need to find someone else to give my extra LH test strips to . . .

  9. I commented at Facebook, but I thought I’d say it again just cuz I feel it so strongly: GO TEAM!! 🙂

  10. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Do you need more exclamation marks?

    Little intuitive Zoe, clever girl.

    Sososososo happy for you guys! How are you feeling? :^)

  11. Alison S

    CONGRATS!!! I’m so happy for you! Best of luck with everything moving forward! Zoe is going to make an amazing big sister. 🙂

  12. You’ve been kind of silent here for a while. I’m overjoyed that this is the reason. I actually glazed over it on FB while my page was loading (still is) so I quickly ran over here to check. I’d much rather hear it here.

    Strangely, the sting doesn’t go away for people IRL. But, when I read it “here”, the news is the highlight of my day.

    So very happy for you! Zoe’s intuition is amazing. Gave me chills.

  13. Congratulations Ann! This is very exciting news & I’m so happy for you all! Isn’t it funny how little kids always have that intuition – I hope she gets that sister she’s dreaming of – I adore having sisters 🙂


  14. Congratulations! That’s great news.

  15. Jen

    thriled for you!

  16. Dre

    I was directed here a while back by a mutual friend of yours and mine, because I’m having problems conceiving, due to PCOS.

    Coming from someone who’s quite used to the “sting”, I’m very happy that you have achieved success again. And I honestly don’t think anyone could have announced it in a better way.

    Congratulations. Sincerely. 🙂

  17. Congratulations! That’s wonderful news. It’s creepy and fantastic that Zoe knew before you did!

  18. How neat that Zoe knew before you did. 🙂 And already planning –she is going to be a great big sister.

    A big congratulations again (I commented on LFCA) for your wonderful blessing.

  19. Yay! Congratulations to your family. When I look over in your category cloud I think, hmmm, I wonder if Ann is going to do the “rock hammer for scale” pictures again. It seems like such a long time ago that Zoe was that small!

  20. Yay! I’m so happy for you all! Smart cookie that Zoe 😉 For what it’s worth, I think it’s wonderful that you feel a little…squirmy about telling people. I feel the same and I like to think that it’s really because we’re so sensitive to the feelings of others that we (and here I mean the collective IF community) often worry about our compatriots still not out of the woods yet. Once upon a time I envisioned all kinds of adorable ways to announce my pregnancy and to celebrate it, but it feels like that was another lifetime and I can only deal with things now as I see fit. It’s a tough spot. Wishing you all the best!!

  21. Eve

    so happy to hear this!

  22. geeksinrome

    Hooray!! and congratulations! Zoe is going to have the best present ever!

  23. That is so awesome Ann! Much love to you all. Can’t wait to see the rock hammer scale in use again!

  24. Naomi

    Congratulations! Molly got a little sister for her birthday — well, two days early, but close enough.

  25. amomofelly

    We’ll pray for healthy mom and baby! Congrats and hope you are feeling great!

  26. Congratulations, Ann!! I am so very happy for you.

    My brother and I were both due on the same day – March 11. I was born on March 9 and he on March 10. It has always been fun celebrating our birthdays together all these years. My Dad is a twin so he always made sure we each had our own cake and to this day, we each get our own little round cake decorated specifically for each of us. I wish your kiddos the same!

  27. That Zoe is one smart cookie! Congratulations!!!!! Hope you are feeling good and that all goes well!!!

  28. Corrie

    I am so happy for you Ann! I have been quietly watching the development and praying for you! I am so happy that you finally made it there to be able to “tell” the wonderful news! Will pray that all goes beautifully for all of you!!!

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