The Tragic Optimist

My belly is a chick magnet

Chris turned 30 on Wednesday. Yay Chris! Yay 30! Youngun. To celebrate, we went out with a bunch of friends to a local drinking establishment and had a fine time. During a couple of my many trips to the bathroom, I learned that being pregnant is apparently a great way to pick up the ladies. First was the woman who followed me out of the bathroom. “You have such a cute waddle,” she says – clearly she had been checking me out from behind. I kind of half turned, and she said, “you are pregnant, right?” and then seeing that there was no doubt, followed up with “oh, good, that would have been awkward, but you really are adorable.” So that was kind of strange, but flattering. Later, though, as I came out of a stall in the bathroom, I almost walked into a woman who had the biggest eyes I’ve ever seen. “I…I can’t find my purse,” she syas in this trembling voice. I turned around to see if it had been left in the stall, but it hadn’t. So I turned back and told her I was sorry. “I hope my bf, I mean best friend” (yes, she did indeed call her best friend “bf” at first) “took it, but I can’t find it.” I again apologized, and that’s when she looked at me and reached out to pat my belly. At this, I inexplicably blurt out “she didn’t eat it.” I swear I’d only been drinking lemonade, but it made sense to me at the time. Anyway, she then asked when I was due and if we knew the sex. When she found out it was a girl, she asked if what her name was. I said we hadn’t chosen a name yet, and she pointed at herself and said, “Kathryn, K-A-T-H-R-Y-N.” I smiled and she went in to the stall. At that, I hightailed it out of there, before she came back out and asked me more about her purse. But when we left a little later, we ended up walking past her and she reached out and grabbed my arm and gave me a very sincere “good luck.” I’m telling you, of our little group, I got by far the most attention from the tipsy females.


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