things I learned from Zoe’s surgery August 26, 2008

Zoe post-surgery. Her eyes are quite blood shot, but they are noticeably straighter.

• My little girl is a hard-core trooper.  If I had just gone through surgery, I would have been on the couch demading that Chris bring me grapes and bon-bons.  Zoe was up and running around and laughing and playing that afternoon.  And demanding grapes.  She is my daughter after all.
• People rock.  The internet facilitates the rocking.  Seriously, I was touched by all the warm wishes and thoughts from old friends, new friends, and friend I’d never met.  I had often wondered if it helped to leave notes on someone’s blog wishing them well, especially if I’d never met the person.  Well, it helped me.  I loved reading everyone’s messages, and even made one last check right before leaving for the hospital to steel myself for the upcoming events.
• I am so glad that Chris was my partner in this.  I would not have wanted to go this alone, and there’s no one I’d rather have gone through this with.  He went with Zoe to be put under because he knew how hard it would be for me to do it, and he knew that he would be a comfort to Zoe.
• Holding your screaming daughter as she is just starting to come out of anesthesia, while she cries bloody tears and tries to rip out her IV is definitely a low in my short time as a parent.  I am enormously thankful that it only lasted 20 minutes (though it felt like 20 times that long), and once she really woke up, she downed 3 glasses of juice and asked for crackers.

better but not perfect July 25, 2008

Zoe had another eye appointment today, this time to follow-up on her new prescription. Unfortunately, while the doctor (and I) could see that the glasses were helping with her eyes, as the doctor said, it was only better, not perfect. As in all the other appointments, the doctor had Zoe look at a toy up close, and she would hold lenses up in front of Zoe’s glasses to see if the stronger prescription would straighten out her eyes. Unlike the other appointments, none of the lenses made any difference.

Zoe's crossed eyes

So in essence, we’ve done as much as we can with glasses, and the doctor brought up surgery. I knew the possibility was there. When I was being honest with myself before the appointment, I knew that it was even likely, but it didn’t make it any easier to hear or think about. We asked a whole bunch of questions, and we’re satisfied that the surgery is our next step. The surgery is scheduled for a month from today. It is apparently an easy, outpatient surgery, probably less than an hour, with a recovery of one day.

I was really shaky and upset this morning after the appointment, but I’m slowly coming around to accept that this will be ok, that Zoe will be ok, and in fact, we’re hoping she’ll be better than ok, and her eyes will start to work together so that she can start developing binocular vision. That’s what this is about, right. This is about her, this is about getting Zoe what she needs for her vision. I keep trying to remind myself that we have so much to be grateful for, that she is healthy, that her strabismus is treatable, that we caught it early. But it’s hard, I had been so hoping that the glasses alone would be sufficient.

Zoe

I suppose one good thing is that the discussions with the ophthalmologist pointed out just how much I’ve grown to love Zoe’s glasses - you may remember that this was not always the case. This morning, when the eye doctor said Zoe would still need glasses after the surgery, I sighed a little sigh of relief that she’d get the keep wearing them, because I think she looks so dang cute in those specs.

(this was cross-posted to my Little Four Eyes blog).

21 months July 14, 2008

Zoe didn’t see her first fireworks this month, but she has hit a bunch of other milestones:

• She says the word “no”, and she is not afraid to use it. At all.
• Got her first haircut. Well, trim, really. She had two big curls that were longer than the rest of the back of her hair, so I trimmed those off.


After her first hair trim

• She’s started waving to kids without me asking her to do so. When we walk around the lake and she sees another kid in a stroller, it’s like she’s running into an old friend, she lights up and waves with a huge smile.
• We’re way into the independence streak all of a sudden. I tried to feed her the last spoonful of applesauce this evening. “No!” as she pushes my hand away. I tried to help her get her pajamas on last night. “No!” and much wailing as I did it anyway. (It was cute to watch her try to put here pajama bottoms over her head, but it was getting late.)
• New lenses for her glasses - they make her eyes look even bigger. Hopefully they will also get her eyes back to straight again.
  

  Not sure you can really tell, but I can - her eyes are looking straighter with the new lenses

• Lots of new words. She’s repeating a lot of words that we say, but ones that she’s recently said spontaneously:
  • car, baby, rice, ice, bo-bo (to mean strawberries, raspberries, or grapes - no, I don’t understand), coffee (this makes me inordinately proud), duck, shoes, rock (both the verb when on her rocking chair, and the noun when we’re outside).
• She all of a sudden can identify lots of body parts
  • head, hair, eyes, ears, nose, cheeks, mouth, teeth, chin, neck, elbow, hands, fingers, belly button, knees, feet, toes

another blog March 15, 2008

I’ve realized recently that I’ve been searching online for other parents who have dealt with small toddlers and glasses. I haven’t found much beyond a few odd (and old) postings to parenting forums and pages that are geared towards parents with older children. I know that it’s not all that common for kids Zoe’s age to need glasses, but I also know it’s not unheard of, and I’d really like to be able to chat and brainstorm with other parents about some of the things we run into: how to deal with glasses and tantrums, how to teach her to put on her glasses, what to look for in glasses, etc.

If only there were some way of connecting with other parents in situations like ours - some way of reaching others regardless of where they’re located - some kind of big interconnected network of communication - maybe one made of tubes - an “internet” if you will. Wait…

So I’m starting a new blog specifically about dealing with toddlers and glasses. Why have it as a separate blog? In part because I’m not sure if everyone wants to read about the details of eye exams and glasses and other such things. Not to mention, when I’ve been looking for information online, what I want is one place specifically about glasses, so I’m going to play around with putting together what I’ve been wanting to find, and hope that other parents find it as well. Which doesn’t mean I won’t talk about Z and her glasses here, just not in super in-depth detail. But if you’re interested in reading about pediatric ophthalmologists, strabismus, and infant eyeglasses, please drop by Little Four Eyes. Or if you know of anyone who’s having to deal with any of that, feel free to point them that way.

so how is Zoe, anyway? March 13, 2008

Zoe’s doing well, she’s made the transition to the toddler room, and while she still has some hesitation in the mornings, it’s getting better and she’s always in a grand mood when we pick her up.

She still doesn’t say much, but she understands a ton. I’ve been experimenting with telling her to do things and seeing if she’ll do them without me pointing or demonstrating what I want. Things like “please pick up the chicken you threw off the table and throw it away.” (which she did).

She throws her food off the table when she’s bored. We haven’t figured out a good response yet.

She also likes throwing things away. She gets upset when we throw things away instead of having her do it.

She just started sleeping through the night.  I shudder at writing this because I fear jinxing it, but I think we’re finally there, and quite a bit better rested.

Her eyes are still a bit crossed even with the glasses. Her next eye appointment isn’t until June, but we may try to get her in earlier if they don’t change.

Somehow we forgot Zoe’s 17 month birthday and didn’t get a rock hammer for scale picture. We’ll get one tomorrow or this weekend. We’re such bad parents. Maybe this is a sign that after 18 months we should scale back to a little less frequent pictures.

Trendsetter March 6, 2008

Sorry about the lack of posts. I don’t know if it’s the long, cold winter or what, but I’ve just felt a complete loss for words recently. Writing anything, even a simple email has been a long ordeal. But enough whining, that’s not what you’re here for.

Zoe has made the transition to the toddler room in daycare quite well, and seems to love the opportunity to play with the big kids. Except in the morning. Mornings, all the non-infant kids are in the same room until after breakfast when they break into their specific age groups. So she’s a bit shy going into the room to play with kids of all ages. And I can’t blame her. First thing in the morning, I’m not up for dealing with people who are way ahead of me cognitively. At least not until I’ve had some coffee. Anyway. Zoe has been a bit reluctant to let us leave in the mornings, so the teachers have taken to asking the other kids to find toys to share with Zoe, which they do quite happily. Now when we show up, two to three kids will immediately shout, “it’s Zoe!” and bring toys and books over to her. Which is sweet, but might add a bit to her feeling a bit overwhelmed when she’s getting books and legos and blocks and animals shoved at her. Anyway. A couple of days ago when Chris was dropping Zoe off, one of the older girls told him that she now had glasses. He thought that was kind of cool that Zoe would have another kid with glasses around, but the teacher said, no, she wasn’t getting glasses at all. I guess glasses are just now what the cool kids want to have.

Update: If you’re looking for more information on babies, toddlers and young children with glasses, check out my other blog, Little Four Eyes.

Help me Internets, you’re my only hope… February 19, 2008

Ok, I need help. Well, yeah, in general, too. But right now I have two specific information needs and I’m not entirely sure where to go. (Yes, as a librarian, I should just be able to do some search magic, but I’m feeling lazy, and one of the important lessons is to know when it’s faster to turn to a person or people for help):

• I’m trying to design a ballot on which people vote yes or no on 124 different resolutions, and I’m not sure of the best design. I think it makes sense to have the yes / no vote right after the text of the resolution, not have the ballot separate from the text. But doing it that way will use more paper. Also, the ballots will need to be tallied by hand. Any thoughts on the best way to deal with that?
• Zoe is generally awesome about keeping her glasses on. Except when she’s angry about something (usually when we take something, like a pen, away from her). Then she rips them off her face and flings them to the ground. Today, the ear piece fell off her glasses when she did that. We were able to repair them, but still. How do we keep her from using them as a way to express her anger, without causing bad associations with her glasses so she won’t want to wear them at all? Currently we’re trying to just not react at all when she whips them off (only maybe once a day), and then put them back on a few minutes later, but I’m open to other suggestions.

Update: If you’re looking for more information on babies, toddlers and young children with glasses, check out my other blog, Little Four Eyes.

Updates February 10, 2008

Zoe went to the ophthalmologist (I got it right on the first try, this time!) on Friday for another check up. She’s kind of a star at the office there. The receptionists all coo over her and greet her excitedly, and the other patients in the waiting room flirt along with her. The ophthalmologist thought her eyes looked a lot better with the new prescription, but she’s still not always focusing with both eyes. So we’re going to wait for a few months and see if things get better on their own. Apparently being sick with something like pinkeye can affect how you’re focusing on things.

Speaking of pinkeye, the ophthalmologist verified that Zoe’s pinkeye is totally gone now, which is pretty darn awesome.

Very good friends just had a baby girl on Thursday. I’m thrilled for them. Welcome little girl, I know you’ll be in very good hands. It’s making me want to go out and buy so many little things for a little baby. Which would be against the spirit of my trying not to acquire stuff, although, I wouldn’t keep it, so maybe it’s ok…

Speaking of my attempts to not acquire things. I’ve done well in the not buying things arena, but we still have managed to acquire a bit. We bought diapers and toilet paper and food, which I can’t see really going without. At the eye doctor’s, the receptionist gave Zoe a little stuffed penguin for being so well-behaved. Then we got a package from my parents with a couple of really cute outfits for Zoe, and the best acquisition I can think of: a growth chart with rock hammers for scale!

Eye stories January 31, 2008

Zoe has pink eye. She was sent home from daycare today, and a trip to the doctor with dad confirmed it. She doesn’t seem bothered by it, but it’s kind of nasty. I’m most worried about trying to get eye drops in her by myself tomorrow.

~~~

The girl is really getting used to her glasses. So much so that in the mornings, if I’m not on the ball, she’ll grab my hand and walk me over to the table with her glasses holder and point at them until I get the hint.

~~~

Perhaps not wanting to be outdone by her blog sister’s daring feat, Zoe decided to climb up all by herself on a swing at daycare. She didn’t get a chance to jump off because it tipped and she fell on her glasses. She’s got a cut under her right eye that follows the curve of the bottom of her frames. We expected a black eye, but somehow she escaped that.

Update: If you’re looking for more information on babies, toddlers and young children with glasses, check out my other blog, Little Four Eyes.

The glasses are back January 23, 2008

Zoe got her glasses back yesterday. I was worried that she would resist after a week and a half of freedom from the specs, but she was fine, and her daycare teacher said that she kept laughing big belly laughs throughout the day today. Sad I missed that, but glad she’s good with the glasses.

Thanks to everyone for indulging me with that last post of mine. I feel a little silly - it is true that since we haven’t yet started trying - or even decided if we want to try - that I have no idea if we’ll face IF again. It’s just that after facing it the first time, I’m afraid of getting my hopes up. And I don’t really want to debate primary vs. secondary infertility here and now (again, because I have only as of yet faced primary IF), but I think a difference for me will be not having the overarching fear that I may never be a mom. But that really is getting ahead of myself.