day off October 3, 2008

I have Fridays off, but with things so crazy at the beginning of the school year and Zoe’s surgery before that, I haven’t felt like I really had time off until today.  Other than a quick trip to the vet for Tycho’s annual check-up and shots, we had nothing planned for the day.  It was awesome.

• Zoe and I got to the library.  In what may shock many people, I go to the public library far less often than Chris does.  I may well lose my librarian card for admitting this.  It’s not any particular reason other than I just don’t think of going to a library when I’m not at work at a library.  But we had a great time, and I need to remember it for future days with Zoe.
• Zoe kept saying daddy all day.  I asked if she wanted to have lunch with Chris, and she gave an emphatic head nod.  So we met for lunch.
• We also hit the park again today.  Zo mostly wanted to swing, but she also made me get on the swing a couple of times and pushed me, while saying “wheee!”
• Ever since reading this post on the Eat. Drink. Better. blog, I’ve been wanting to make applesauce, and today I got the chance to pick up some apples and give it a go.  It turned out really well and made the house smell pretty awesome.  I had not realized that applesauce could be quite so silky smooth.  A couple of notes on the recipe:
  • The recipe calls for sweet apples (not pie apples) because there’s no added sugar.  Of course, when I got to the store, I couldn’t for the life of me remember what a good, sweet apple was, because I’m always paying attention to tart apples.  So I picked up cortlands.  The resulting sauce is tasty, but a little on the tart side.
  • The recipe says to leave skin and seeds in and just put the sauce through a food mill to remove them.  I don’t have a food mill, so I peeled and cored the apples, and cut them into eighths instead of quarters.  I just cooked until it all fell apart in the pan anyway and mashed it with the back of a spoon.  Super easy.
  • I added a little cinnamon.

falling behind September 21, 2008

So many little observations in the last week or so that I keep mulling over putting into a post.  Fall is a tough time of year.  It’s my favorite season, but it’s also the busiest one.  Every fall, I tell myself that next year I’ll remember how busy things are, and I’ll get started on everything earlier.  Every fall, I look ahead and think, this year won’t be so bad, I’ve done this before.  Every fall, I’m just barely keeping my head above water.  It stays above water, and it’ll stay above water this year, too.  But I have no left over mental energy for much else.

I think that’s maybe why I keep noticing little things recently.  Some things I’ve seen recently, with  no additional commentary:

• on a walk around the lake, a heron standing stately on a sandbar in the lake.
• on the same walk, a woman on a bike with a pomeranian in the basket on the handbars.
• a hummingbird flitting through the flowers a block from my house.  I’ve never seen a hummingbird here.
• that feeling of anxiety in the pit of my stomach at the beginning of the school year, as I think about all the school work and exams and papers, that always catches me by surprise, until I remember that I’m not a student anymore

this may be the most shocking thing I’ve posted August 30, 2008

I became a vegetarian 18 years ago at the young, idealistic age of 15. At the time, it was all about how I could save the world. In my simplified world view, if we stopped eating livestock that consumed far more resources than we got back in the form of protein, well, then we could feed the world. So yeah, simplistic, but hey, I plead being 15 years old. Since then, the reasons for being vegetarian have morphed - now it’s for environmental, sustainability and health reasons, and I’ve become a bit less strict in that I now eat fish and don’t mind things made with chicken stock, but still, I have not willingly eaten the flesh of land-dwelling animals in the greater part of 2 decades. That is, until last night.

The Minnesota State Fair is a big deal here. Absolute, serious, big deal. And it’s this week. We checked with Zoe’s doctor before scheduling her surgery to be sure that we could take her to the fair the weekend following the surgery. That’s how big a deal it is. One of the best parts of the fair is the crazy food - deep fried macaroni and cheese on a stick, deep fried twinkies on a stick, flash frozen ice creams, all the milk you can drink, really good cookies . . . It’s not the place to go if you’re looking to avoid food temptations. Each year, the vendors try to outdo each other with the craziest, yet still (nominally) edible, food items. Often of the deep-fried, on-a-stick theme.

Enter pig lickers, the chocolate-covered bacon phenomenon at this year’s fair, neither deep-fried, nor on-a-stick, yet still very much in the tradition of fair food.

As a chocolate lover, I was intrigued. For weeks leading up to the fair, I kept trying to convince Chris to try them. He was not so intrigued. It finally occurred to my that I was projecting my interest on to him, and if I really wanted to know how they tasted, I’d have to try them myself.

That’s right. I would end 18 years of no meat for a chocolate covered hunk of pig. I think that if they’d gotten bad reviews, I would have opted out, but they used really good chocolate, and really good bacon, and most people really gave it good reviews. Besides, if you’re going to go off the veggie wagon, even if just for a few minutes, shouldn’t you do it for something as crazy as chocolate-covered bacon?

Chris and I went last night with his family, and I admit, I wondered if I’d really go through with it. But then, there we were, in front of the Pig Lickers booth, and there was no turning back. I ordered the pig lickers and was handed the paper cup with half a dozen slices of bacon with one half dipped in chocolate.

chocolate covered big in a cup

yes, that's me, with chocolate-covered bacon in my mouth and a smile on my face.

They were.. well.. they tasted like really good, thick chocolate, with a nice salty crunch (I love chocolate and salty combinations), with a distinctly bacony flavor. It wasn’t actually bad, though it probably sounds bad. In fact, I think it was pretty good. I liked the combination. I ate all the chocolate covered pieces except for a couple of bites that Chris and his mom tried (that’s right, Chris refused to try them, until I told him I was going to eat them, then shamed by his wife, he decided he’d be willing to try a bite). I couldn’t eat the non-chocolate covered parts, didn’t even try. A couple of random people outside the shop asked me if they were good or not, I enjoyed answering that I was a vegetarian of 18 years and was eating them.

I was, however, not at all tempted to go back to eating meat, not even another order of the pig lickers. I think that will hold me for the next 18 years. Or at least until next year’s fair.

the beer helped

sweet, and salty!

yoga notes August 6, 2008

Made it to yoga again. I seem to only make it every other week, but I’m trying. I really am. I wasn’t cracking myself up quite as much this time, but the cd that was playing did start skipping in the middle of class. That in and of itself isn’t even worth a mention and hardly more than a bit of a smile, but it did amuse me that the music that they play during yoga is so monotone and repetitive anyway that it took a good while before any of us noticed that it was skipping at all. That’s the problem - or the beauty, I guess - with slow chanty music, you never know if the guy is just chanting the same syllable over and over again by design, or if your cd is scratched.

I think I may try to use my amusement at yoga for personal gain, or at least for motivation, which in theory would lead to personal gain, or preferably, a bit of personal loss of a bit of my physical personal flab.  Because although I really love how I feel after yoga class, and I know that love how I am going to feel,  it’s still way too easy for me to find excuses not to go.  But maybe if I include the added benefit that it’ll be funny, then maybe I’ll be more excited about going.

why do you blog? July 30, 2008

Thank you everyone for all your good thoughts about Z’s upcoming surgery.  I’m feeling much better about it.  Not saying that I’m looking forward to it, but I’m feeling like I’ll survive (her surviving has never been in much question).

Sometimes I have an idea for a blog post, and I think it to death and it never gets posted. Sometimes the idea just seems to not let me leave it be - it keeps showing up everywhere I look.

This past weekend, I got together with some local parenting bloggers when the local paper’s parenting blog had a get together. It was fun, I’d never gone to a blog-related get together, but everyone was very friendly and we all had a great time. At some point, we discussed why we blogged. Some blog as a creative outlet, some as a way to keep family and friends updated, some are hoping to get a book published, some want a way to talk about issues that are near and dear to them. It got me thinking about the reasons I blog.

Then Alicia posted yesterday about some of her favorite blogs and ended by asking everyone why they blogged.  And then today I got a survey about the “state of the blogosphere” which made me laugh.  It had questions about how much money I make on my blog and whether I have ever been fired or lost friends because of my blogging.  Huh.

So now I’m curious, why do you all blog?  Or if you don’t, why do you read blogs?  Are there certain types of blogs that you gravitate towards or shy away from?

For me, I really started updating this blog once I was pregnant.  I had been reading infertility blogs and a few blogs of friends for a while, but hadn’t quite gotten up the courage to start really writing my own.  I ended up using the blog mostly as a way to keep friends and family updated, but slowly, it also became a way to be a little more open about our fertility struggles and journey.  I wanted other people to know they shouldn’t feel alone if they were going through something similar.  It’s a little strange, since infertility is not the topic of most of my posts nowadays.

I also blog because I hate writing.  I know that sounds stupid, but writing is hard for me.  I put it off, procrastinate, find excuses not to do it and generally feel like I’m pulling teeth trying to get words out of my head and in to print.  So I started to write more frequently with the idea that writing would become easier the more I do it.  I suppose that might be the case, though writing  still is certainly not my favorite activity, and it still does not come easily.

What has been so surprising to me is how much I’ve gained from blogging in other ways.  I really love the feedback on my thoughts and my writing, and I love hearing that something I wrote might have helped someone.  I’ve also learned so very much from posting about topics that I hadn’t known a lot about before.  With my little four eyes blog, I keep learning a ton, both from my own research, but in large part from the other posters and commenters, about children’s vision and visual development.

stretching July 23, 2008

I’m actually getting close to reaching one of my goals, having gone to yoga today, for what was the second time this month.  I do love yoga, and feeling stretched, and balanced, and calm, and focused.  It’s one of the few times where I feel not just in control of my body, but fully in my body, one of the few times I really love my physical self.

But I have a hard time being serious in yoga.  Things just always seem to crack me up, whether it be the way the instructor phrases something, or the way I fall over when I’m trying to stand on one foot.  My first yoga instructor, who was awesome, would always talk us through relaxation at the end of class, and she always said the same thing, and every single time (for over 6 years), when she got to the point where she said to relax your forearms, a little voice in my head would say “but I have only two arms!”  And I’d have to stifle my giggles, mostly at just how corny a joke that was, and just how much it seemed to crack up my subconscious.  That same instructor would always get body parts mixed up when she led class, telling us to put our left elbow on our right calf, wait no, that’s your left hand, and on your right knee, I mean hip.  Which for some reason, is hilarious if you’re me and you’re really relaxed and stretched and in a yoga frame of mind.

Early on in yoga, I asked my body-part-confusing instructor about that final relaxation that we did, and if I did it at home, was there a way to make sure I didn’t just fall asleep.  She looked at me, considered my question, and then in a very kind, but serious way, suggested that perhaps I should try to get more sleep.  She was wise.

Other things I’ve learned throughout my yoga practice:

• If you’re doing something that stretches you too much, or that hurts, maybe you should back off and do it a little less.
• If you’re trying to balance, focus on something steady that doesn’t move.
• Stop comparing yourself to others.  You’ll never look like, or get into some of those poses like those skinny-hipped bitc…er, those skinny-hipped fellow sharers of focused and relaxed energy.
• Breathe.

15 things July 6, 2008

I was tagged by Melinda (thanks!) last week and am just now getting around to this.  I hope that everyone who celebrates it had a wonderful Independence Day, and that everyone else had a great weekend.  We took it easy - went to a bunch of cooks outs and took a lot of walks.  No fireworks yet, but we’re really looking forward to Zoe being old enough to go to them.  They’re just so late when you live far enough north that it doesn’t get dark until around 10.

Blog Tag Rules: Answer these 15 questions on your blog. List: 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 random surprising facts. Tag 5 people by leaving their names at the end of the post.

3 Joys:

1. That first day of spring in Minnesota, when it’s warm enough to go outside without bundling up, and everyone and their dog heads out to one of the lakes and walks around with this look of absolute bliss at the fact that they can once again enjoy the fresh air and outside without risking death.
2. Making Zoe laugh, usually by doing physical comedy - that really deep, full-body laugh that toddlers do.  I’m a sucker and I’ll do almost anything to get that laugh out of her.  Luckily, she laughs easily.
3. Working with a student who thinks that their research is impossible, and managing to help them find what they’re looking for, and all of a sudden their eyes light up as they start to get really excited about the research they’re doing and the stuff they’re finding.  Makes me love my job.

3 Fears:

1. Looking stupid.  I’m always afraid of making a fool of myself or doing something to let others know that I might not always know what I’m doing.  It’s one of the things I’d most like to change about myself.  I really wish that sometimes I’d just up and do it, who cares what others think, how else can I learn if I don’t look stupid occasionally?  It’s one of the things I hope Zoe does not learn from me
2. Touching already chewed chewing gum.  Seriously.  I have trouble carrying tables in the library because I fear touching the gum.  I hate even thinking about it.
3. Starting up the trying to conceive thing again and not succeeding (no, we’re not trying right now)  Not that I fear only having one child, because I’m extremely happy with our little family of three.  But I hate the idea of deciding to go for it and spending the energy and having nothing to show for it.

3 Goals:

1. Spend a summer on Antarctica, preferably doing library or some kind of research assistance, but really, I’d just be happy being there.
2. Work with an author to help them with the research they need to do for their book and then be mentioned by name in the aknowledgement section of the book.
3. Get back into yoga.

3 Current Obsessions:

1. Baking bread.
2. My blog stats.  I know it’s totally silly, but I check a couple times a day and I get really excited when I have a relatively high number of visits (I don’t get all that many, so it doesn’t take much to get me excited).
3. Doctor Who.  Man I do love that show.

3 Random, Surprising Facts:

1. I hate driving.  I speed so that I can cut the time as much as possible.
2. I am a chocolate purist.  I really believe it’s an affront to chocolate to pollute it with things like peanut butter or hazelnut.  The exception is mint.  Mint and chocolate is ok.  Though not as good as just straight chocolate.
3. I’ve co-authored three articles about rocks that had been deposited by ancient tidal estuaries.  By looking at the layers, you can see what the ancient lunar cycles were (they were shorter in the past as the moon was closer).  I love lunar cycles and tides and rocks.

So now to tag.  I tag YOU!  Yes, internets, I choose all of you!

distractions July 1, 2008

Whew, you have a college reunion weekend (Chris’s 10 year), a sinus infection, and a bunch of house guests, and all of a sudden it’s 2 weeks since your last post.  So much to catch up on — not that all that much has happened, though I kind of feel like I should have something worth posting after such a long pause, but there’s also so many blogs to keep up with, too.  If you all could just stop having interesting things to say when I’m busy, that’d be great.

One thing that happened last month was Zoe and I both being on antibiotics.  Zoe for her perforated eardrum and I for a sinus infection.  Now in both cases, I had done research, and in both cases, it seems like a lot of doctors are recommending not using antibiotics, in part because they don’t seem to significantly shorten the time of the infections, and of course, in order to keep down the incidence of antibiotic-resistant bugs.  So I went to the doctors expecting to not get antibiotics, and specifically deciding not to ask for them.  But in both cases, the doctors prescribed them.  In the case of my sinus infection, I did ask the doctor if antibiotics would really help, but she just gave me a strange look, and said yes, it was bacterial.  I was in enough pain (I’ve never had a sinus infection before, damn! I was literally calling home crying to my mommy) that I didn’t have the energy or desire to argue.

It all got me thinking about confronting doctors if you’ve done research and disagree with their diagnosis or treatment.  Between infertility, pregnancy, and Zoe’s vision problems, I’ve done a lot of searching and reading the medical literature, but as of yet, haven’t really come across any cases where I seriously questioned what my doctors were telling me.  And honestly, I’m not sure what I would do in that situation.  Part of it is just my general dislike of confrontation, but part of it, I think, is from library school.  We learned to do the literature searches for any medical topic, for sure, but it was also hammered home that we were not to ever offer any medical advice or interpretation of what we found (the same is true for legal advice).  I think that’s absolutely appropriate for someone serving the role of librarian, but it’s bled over into my research as a patient, too.

I know I’m not alone in doing my own research on medical issues, and I’m wondering if any of you have run into situations where your research differs from what your doctor tells you.  Did you bring it up?  How did that go?  And if there are any medical-types, how have you handled patients that disagreed with your opinions based on their research?  Do you want your patients to bring research they’ve done to you, or does that overstepping boundaries?

33 June 16, 2008

33 is not an interesting number. Not really. Not like 24: 2 dozen; or 25: 5²; 26: 2 bakers’ dozens; 27: 3³; 28: 1+2+3+4+5+6+7; 29: a prime number; 30: 2 1/2 dozen, also, 30; 31: another prime number; 32: 2⁵. Compared to all those, 33 is just a bit boring. It’s nearly a third of a century, but not quite, and not quite isn’t good enough. It’s 3 11s, which means it’s the product of 2 prime numbers, but that’s really not interesting. It’s a palindrome, so there’s that. It’s my excuse for taking today off and doing nothing more productive than buying two new pairs of shoes, so it does have that going for it. 33, it’s what I am today, and what I’ll be for the next 364 days.

Taggity goodness June 8, 2008

I was tagged by Kat at Oranges and Peaches, so here goes:

What was I doing 10 years ago?

• Working as a programmer at a software company, had moved from new development to customer support and training
• On a brief break from dating Chris. We’d get back together in just a couple of weeks
• Had just moved into my own apartment by myself - I had been living with 3 roommates before that
• Had just bought my first car - a 1995 hail-damaged Honda Civic

What are 5 things on my to-do list for today?

• Laundry
• Celebrate Mother-in-law’s birthday - yay!
• Pack picnic for aforementioned birthday
• Clean up around the house
• Respond to some emails

Snacks I enjoy….

• Chocolate
• Cheese
• Chocolate chips melted in a flour tortilla, rolled up
• Pita chips with cinnamon and sugar
• Chocolate

Things I would do if I were a billionaire: [wow, a billion is a lot, this could be fun]

• Pay taxes happily
• Buy a new house that’s a little bigger and remodel the kitchen, with the same designer that did our current kitchen
• Pay for someone to do native plant landscaping so we wouldn’t have to worry about landscaping upkeep
• Pay off mortgages for family
• Set up endowment funds to fund research in
  • Children’s vision
  • Clean, renewable energy
  • Infertility, particularly reducing the risk of multiples
• Pay to go into space - they still do that, right?
• Set up an endowment fund to support the new Community Sponsored Agriculture farms
• I’d want to keep my job, but I would also want to work only a few days a week, and that’s really not fair to my coworkers, so I’d probably end up quitting.
• Oh, throw a big party. Biiiig party. You’d all be invited. There would be free childcare. And crash space.

Places I have lived:

• South Dakota (3 different locations)
• Colorado
• Indiana
• Germany (2 different locations for one year combined)
• Minnesota (4 different locations not counting college)

Jobs I have had:

• Babysitter (from age 11 on)
• After school child care at local elementary school (high school)
• Research assistant at Indiana Geological Survey (high school and college, summer and winter breaks)
• Circulation desk assistant (college)
• Software developer, Software programming trainer, Customer Support consultant, Supervisor, Interim Manager (post-college, 7 years in total, the interim manager job was the worst 8 weeks of my working career)
• Science Librarian - Yeah!

Bloggers I’m tagging for this meme…[but only if you want to - this is the first time I've ever actually tagged anyone]

• Fighting Windmills
• Untethered Nothings (who I was just getting to know really well 10 years ago…)
• The Therapist is In
• At the Foot of the Bluff (who I was working with 10 years ago…)
• Alicia
• You! (If you want)